Blasted thing, couldn't find a return address.

strange men ruin traveling.

i don't really want to be alone in ireland that much anymore. if anyone can come here, they really, really should. seriously.

Hokay, so.

I'm in Dublin right now. It's kind of like Boston, except I can drink and I don't know anyone. I'm working on that. I miss the hugs of MA. it's only been a day though. Maybe I'll get used to limited cuddling. I'M going to Cork in a couple days. I'm pretty curious about the rest of Ireland. Like, the not-so-city parts. There's a little guy on my screen. A bug. I miss my brother quite a bit. HI MATT *waves vigorously*
I miss Isaac a lot too but that's just too embarrassing to discuss.

Wish me luck, guys. I'm completely surrounded by the unfamiliar.

ALSO have you ever seen a male pigeon trying to pick up a chick? I'm seeing it for the first time right now. they make wicked awesome croaking noises and spin in circles a bit. i wish guys did that in our species more often.

does anyone have a rancid ticket i could buy off them? i really, reeeally want one.

If you ever don't know where to go, or if the stress is sticking to you the way that it seems to do...try a roof. it's dirty up there, if that matters at all. it doesn't, by the way.

i am content. i feel like i took a very important dirt-shower.

Back to this. Time to be loud.

Doggie got adopted. I'll miss her.

I've been so stagnant. I'm not ready for Ireland at all. Right now, I can't even imagine hanging out with anyone who isn't Isaac.
Oh, news update! I have a boyfriend again. It's weird, I feel like one of those people who dates, like....regularly.
Weeeiiird.
I also got a prescription for Xanax.

And that's all I have for news. I'm not too pleased with how I'm living my life currently.

We have a beagle-daschund dog that we can't afford to keep at our house. she's small and adorable. not particularly trained yet but she's the sweetest motherfucker on the planet. i'm quite in love with her. her name is dorothy, kind of. everyone's debating on what her actual name is.

anybody want a new buddy?

I think I love everything. I'm pretty sure, actually. It's starting to make sense, in that way that will never make sense.

man, oh man...

i've been having so much useless fun lately. i'm spinning in fantastically meaningless circles, and i know i have to stop but...do i really have to stop? it's just so nice to be able to forget everything for a little while. to say "fuck it dude." and turn away. i never wanted to be like that, but now that i am it's just so wonderful. there's always that dissatisfaction that follows me though, behind it all...i need to be doing something that twists my mind into knots of confusion. i need a real adventure, the kind that makes to fucking scream. you know, that scream that happens when you've been trying to describe something completely indescribeable for hours, and you KNOW that the person you're talking to understands, but you JUST. CAN'T. MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE. so you scream! and it sets you free!

i need that! it's been fun but i should stop drinking.

got kicked out.
got un-kicked out.
ignored the un-kick-outage.
couch surfed whilst ignoring emails and phone calls. one week.
had a missing persons report filed for me.
came home.
lost the job.
lost the orange hair.
looking for an apartment.
meeting new friends.
missing old friends.
shrugging.

I'm pretty sick of retail. oh well, i suppose it's a place i'm going to have to get used to. hopefully not in a very long-term kind of way...
i had a dream that i got an apartment with doctor robotnik.

and, well...i'm not sure if i should actually update about events or not. i feel like there's not much that people haven't heard or seen about me already. everything seems to spread so fast.
let's see.
i'm single again. nice ideas don't seem to last long enough. i have a bunch of money saved, enough money to get to ireland now. by the time i go i'll have enough to stay for a very decent amount of time. this is good. ben morse has his own place, and i'm over there a lot nowadays. i found a place to take more glass blowing classes, but i'm scared to spend money on them just in case something comes up and i end up having to delay my trip. i went to this place is hull the day after valentine's day, but i forget what it was called. you couldn't get in the watch tower.i dyed my hair orange. i got really sick of customers asking about my saint patrick's day plans, and if i was being festive with my hair. the green had to go, although i did truely love it when it wasn't all faded.

that was a terrible attempt at trying to make my life sound as if it had real solid things in it. i apoligize.

Should I be in college? Should I be applying, at least? I guess it couldn't hurt to...I just don't want to be bullied into anything.

Things are weird, and maybe pretty good. I think I've been going though rapid, rapid changes lately.

I'm not sure if I am still a wolverine. I might have just gotten used to the look of it.

Nothing is a big deal. Repeat the sentence with emphasis on different words each time, and I mean it all of those ways.

Everything is simultaneously beautifully pure and full of shit, and it's all very possible and impossible.

A series of one-line useless sentences ricocheting around my useless happy head.

Had a pretty sweet new year's.
Had an incredible new year's, actually.
As in, amazing.

But now my whole body and being are completely run down, and Zak is going back to Florida.
Fuck! FUCK! FUUUUCK!!!!!!!

Oh well. Things are good, overall. I want to quit my job so badly...............

WHAT? WHOA. AWESOME. HOLY CRAP

i'm going to start writing poetry again. i HAVE to. i'm sick of being unenthusiastic about things. i'm going to write, and make lots of art, and cuddle and maybe take the SATs although the last one isn't nearly as appealing as the rest. it's ok, maybe going to the library will make it fun.


i reaaaaally need to finish making christmas presents. it's less than a week away...
oh god




(smittenlikeakitten)

it's outrageous what a weekend can do to your mind.

i just want christmas to pass.

COME ON BABY LET'S MAKE LOVE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT'LL MAKE ME BETTER

NANANANANANANANANANANANANA!

every time i start to think, really think i mean, i force myself into a situation where i'm too busy to give it any validation.

I HATE THAT